Piloto

¡Hola! Hoy es el día. I've packed up my life and gotten myself on a plane to Costa Rica. There's no way to put how I'm feeling into one word. Terrified, excited, ready... yet so not ready, confused, curious, brave, proud, ... and terrified. I've had this dream since I was a little 13 year old girl, with no sense of who she was or what she was capable of. Thinking about that Sophia meeting me now, calms so many fears. She would be in awe of who I am and what I'm doing. I want to make her so proud. I'm ready to be scared, and I'm okay with it because I know doing scary things leads to change and growth. It's time I step out of my comfort zone. Abundance is on the other side of fear!

While I gaze out the small window plane, admiring the soft blue sky speckled with glittering white clouds, I sip my crisp ginger ale (my favorite airplane treat). Noah Kahan's "You're Gonna Go Far" plays in my ears, pinpointing all the feelings about leaving my family and friends behind while I discover myself. Guilt, it creeps into my mind, making me second guess my decision for a split second. A whirlwind of thoughts storm in. How many milestones will I miss because of this? It's not long before I allow excitement to take back over. The possibilities that lie ahead while I put myself first fill me with curiosity and hope. So, while I admire the sky, the same sky that will follow me wherever I go, while I allow music to put these feelings into words for me, while I cross my legs and hold my pee, fearful of disturbing the man in the aisle seat, I think... I believe, I truly am gonna go far.

Cheers to change, growth and discovery. Cheers to this next adventure. Cheers to me. To the little girl with big dreams, and the big girl with so much bravery. I am proud of me.

First journal entry, written on the flight DFW - SJO

08/24/2023