Goodbyes: A Side Effect of the Traveler's Life

Jan 23, 2024
6 min read

After three months in Costa Rica, spending my days at the beach, speaking more Spanish than English, wearing a bikini and sandals every day, and eating rice and beans for nearly every meal, I hopped on a plane to head home for the holidays. The timing of visiting home for Christmas made for mixed emotions. Of course, I was overly ecstatic to see my family and friends. But, at the same time, so many of the friends I had made here in Costa Rica were going home for the holidays… and not returning. I guess that’s part of living life on the move. A side effect of traveling, you could say. Fleeting experiences, but lifelong friendships. People come and go, hopping between countries, but thankfully we build a lasting love in the little time spent together. Something about exploring a new country, a new lifestyle, a new culture, and meeting people who are doing the same, manifests connections that are so special.

Coming into this, I knew from day 1 in Coco, our time together was limited. But showing up in a brand new town with Delaney to meet new people whose names I only knew because nearly all of them were ‘Erin’ (I just had to learn who was #1, #2, and #3), it still felt like we had a lifetime ahead of us together. But time passes quickly in Costa Rica, and in the blink of an eye, three months passed, and another set of goodbyes came along. As I hugged the girls who became my family in the past few months, saying goodbye didn’t feel real. These were the girls who showed me around Coco, the ones who introduced me to some of the most wonderful locals, who quickly became family and friends, the ones who sat on my lap in small cars on the weekends to road trip through the country, the ones I watched nearly every sunset with, shared every weekend with, the ones I laughed with until we couldn’t breathe… the ones who made Coco a home so quickly. I couldn’t process that they wouldn’t be there when I got back in a few weeks.

Fortunately, we know how to make the most of goodbyes around here. The weekend before we caught our flights, we celebrated Sary’s (my Costa Rican mom) birthday on the beach with a fogata (bonfire), moonlit ocean dips, music, singing and dancing surrounded by our closest friends, turned family. Erin #1 decided to celebrate in the best way possible, by getting Dengue fever for her last week here. Despite the fact she felt like she was nearly on her deathbed, she didn’t let it stop her from spending time beside us. We forced ourselves to block out the pending doom and gloom of the goodbyes coming in 48 hours, and celebrated the way we know how. Laughter, love, hugs, dancing, and good vibrations filled our weekend, saying goodbye to the girls the way they deserve.

As Sam Smith said, I guess I’ll have to get too good at goodbyes. Knowing I have a little piece of my heart and home in so many places around the world makes those goodbyes a little easier, but saying goodbye to the experience of living beside these girls will never be easy. Erin #1 moved to Tampa to start a new teaching job, Erin #2 traveled over to the Caribbean side of Costa Rica to teach at a school in Puerto Viejo, Erin #3 hopped across the pond to Hawaii to teach, Kate returned home to Los Angeles and Kristen back to New Orleans (despite our attempts to keep them here forever). Watching each of them leave is its own little heartbreak every time, but watching them thrive in new environments, make new memories, and have new experiences makes it all worth it. Knowing that we will all see each other again and that we truly made the most of our time together, makes the goodbyes a little easier. I’ll forever be cheering them on, from wherever in the world we each are.

My female friendships are something I have cherished so deeply throughout my life. I have so many female friends in the U.S. who taught me how special, sacred, and intimate love should be in friendship, and I am so grateful for the blueprint they created for me to continue manifesting and building such special friendships with such special women. My college roommates, Olivia, Kenady, and Izzy, my sisters, my childhood best friend, Sarah, my high school 'enemy' turned best friend, Aleia, so many other college friends that turned into genuine, loving, lifelong connections, Cait, Erin, Laurel, Hanna... Each woman I have connected with through my life has held their own place in my heart, and they always will. I appreciate when little things in new friendships remind me of my friendships back home. It reminds me that I always have a little piece of each friendship with me, wherever I am in the world, no matter how far I am from my friends.

My friendships with women have showed me the beauty in femininity. How special it is to be a girl. How to appreciate our ability to feel things so deeply. How to experience every emotion to the fullest. To be able to talk about the same thing 10 times over, and still listen to each other with intent. How joy, laughter, and excitement remains even through the inconveniences and hard days. The power we have to find the extraordinary in the mundane. How fun it is to spend extra time in the mirror, to try on 8 different outfits, to share clothes and makeup as we share stories of trauma, love, childhood, and life. How, at the end of the day, we are the ones who understand each other, who understand the struggles of being a woman along with the beauty of being a woman. How, in an oftentime harsh and scary world, it's women who reminds you of the soft, gentle rays of light in the life experience.

Kate, the girl who was courageous enough to come up to me at sunset on the beach, when I was too shy to, thank you for showing me what a small moment of courage can create. Erin #1, the girl who showed up to a packed club in a Lego costume on Halloween, thank you for showing me the power of humor in connection and always making everyone feel special. Erin #2, the girl who radiates warmth and friendship, thank you for showing me deep, gentle love. Erin #3, the girl whose love and friendship never faltered, despite everything else, thank you for sharing your strength and compassion with us and always making us laugh at the end of a long day. Jas, the beautifully confident woman who may not be your first pick when it comes to thinking games, but the one who had your back no matter what, thank you for showing me the power and beauty in confidence, and of course attempting to teach me how to move my hips on the dance floor. Kristen, the girl who beams with compassion, light and femininity, thank you for showing me peace (and a damn good time). I love each of you more than time could tell, and I cannot wait to reunite. Until then, Delaney and I will hold the fort down in Coco. Come back soon!

Erin #1

Cake pops in Tamarindo

Goodbyes to Erin and Dengue </3

Sprint to the sunset swim

2am ocean swims (feat. Ellie & Kate)

Iconic. Iykyk. Lego. Halloween. Flippers. Actually, no one knows.

Erin #2

The best person to have on the dance floor.

Drinking games at Pizza Hub. The sweetest laugh

Hugs at Zi's. So much love!

Sending her off to Puerto Viejo. (feat. Leo)

Erin #3

Marathon baby!

I remember this night was filled with sooo much love

Last day with Erin in Coco. Crying at Java Cafe

Carefree

Sunset swims together after a long, tough day of work always made everything better.

Kate

First time Kate was in Coco! We bonded instantly.

Thank goodness she came back to visit! Boat ride - we saw whales this day! Ended up on a catamaran somehow... This day is definitely in need of it's own blog post.